Secrets

Well she's gone now. Left on a jetplane, leaving my freedom behind. Or did she? God knows if I'll ever manage to get her off my mind the next time I kiss a girl, or even just go out on a date. The very shadow of her being destroyed the last one- reminding me that all those others were just there to compensate, she, the Holy Grail, is now out of reach forever, though we parted on the terms that I'd say I would say were the best I could ask for.

So she knows how I feel about her. And she told me... Well what she told me isn't going anywhere past my heart anytime soon. Friends from here and home have been pestering me to teld them what she told me, and I have yet to give an answer. Was it bad? Was it good? Complete and utter rejection? Or the opposite? Somewhere in between? Sorry people, this is where I leave you dangling- and I realize it's become a trend in my life now. I'm keeping more secrets to myself. I'm not sure how you feel about this, but in case I offend anyone, if you feel that it's because I don't trust you enough-

Then maybe you're right.

I don't mean this in an offensive way. It's not that you are untrustworthy, it's that I've been too trusting in the past. And with the way things have been changing for me, I have to start learning what's best kept to myself, what's best told. What line separates the two? Need. I think lately, I've been needing lesser and lesser consolation from the people around me when I get shot down. Guess I'm getting better at picking myself up now.

On the other side of the fence, it's also because I believe that some things taste better when they're yours and yours alone. Selfish, I know. And people go around saying 'sharing is caring', and 'things are better when they're shared'. This isn't always true. The path to complete altruism is also the path to complete destruction, I believe. Really though, some things (like affairs, relationships, achievements, mutant powers) are better kept secret. Gloating over the total number of girls you've landed sounds fine. Keeping others guessing is better.

;)

And of course, one thing you'll all agree with me about- SPOILERS are best kept to yourself. No one likes those. XD

In the meantime, I never really told anyone about what happened at KLCC yesterday, right? Apart from the fact that I watched Pirates of the Carribean 2 and bought that X-Men comic, lots of other stuff happened. As you may recall, I went there to visit Hazriq, and that's what I did. But on the random encounter scale, you know how when you go somewhere and you know everyone? Well that has never happened to me before- I've only seen such cases with supersocialites like Rahman and Amri when we went shopping. But in one day at KLCC, I met

1) Hazriq (okay, doesn't count since I meant to meet him)
2) Shahril and his brother waiting in line for tickets at TGV
3) Pai and some TKC-ian friends
4) Joey and Argen, KYUEM-ian ex-students
5) Rachel Johnson, accquainting herself with good Malaysian bookstores
6) Puan Kat and her ab- son, who had brought Rachel here to begin with
7) Afiq Baha who was dating Saidatul, my neighbor
8) That girl who used to work in Kinokuniya is now working in Isetan - Tina if I'm not mistaken. Said she earned more money there.
9) One of my Dad's surau friends who knew me instantly, though I don't remember his name.
10) One of my SASER friends- or at least he claims to be. I just smiled and nodded as he asked me how I was doing.

Ten encounters. Okay, so that's not much, but still. By my standards, it almost makes me feel like a celebrity. o_0 Okay, so maybe my social standards aren't much to go by (though they are marginally greater than some of my friends who shall remain unnamed), but still, wow right? Oh fine, don't agree. (sticks tongue out)

Anyway, I'm back in college now. Yay. I have the Rent soundtrack, and I just torrented 'House of M: Spider-Man.' I brought Reis and Fell with me this time, and a bunch of supplies for the expedition.

(sigh) Now, back to homework, studies for my Chem deciding exam, and onwards to Personal Statements and more homework!

This is going to be a long week.

(I miss her.)

Current mood: Melancholic
Current song: Shiver - Coldplay (Her favorite Coldplay song)