Less Sarcasm

There has been an amount of people asking me to become less sarcastic. (No, it's not just you). And I agree, I could be less sarcastic- but it's just so damn hard. Recently though, I've had a realization which may help me achieve 'less sarcasm' when dealing with certain people.

'Sarcasm' is when you say something which is the opposite of what you mean, in a tone which suggests to the other person that you're not meaning what you say to that person. If the person doesn't catch it, then either the person's an idiot or you have to sharpen your tone some more, or maybe work on that mocking grin.

So, in a way, the opposite of sarcasm is TOTAL, BLUNT, BRUTAL, honesty.

Instead of saying:

'Considering your track record, you smart, smart boy, I'm sure that test is going to be a cinch.'

I should say:

'You are an idiot. No amount of studying is going to help. Because you're going to get distracted anyway and not study. You are doomed. Don't even bother trying.'

And instead of saying:

'Hi! Nice hearing from you!'

I should say:

'You irritate me with your clear lack of language skills. And I don't like your voice either. Unless this thing is important, please hang up. That would be better for the both of us.'

Haha! I get the point across, AND I do it with zero sarcasm! Everyone is happy, yes? Now let's see whether it's actually as fun as it sounds on paper. (rubs hands together with glee)