It's There

But I just can't touch it. (sigh)

Today was the IELTS test. It was...well, IELTS. Saying that it was no sweat would be bragging, which I'm trying to avoid (but on the other hand, thanks to glorious air conditioning which almost froze us all to death, it literally wasn't any sweat), but ah, I guess I managed to pull through. Things have been okay today. More than okay. I'm on study leave until Saturday, when I have my Math test. That means I'm free tomorrow and Friday. Wait, not Friday since I have a gotong royong to attend (grumble grumble).

Anyway, today I've finally gotten some things moving again. I'm back to reading the Belgariad, so I can just finish it quickly and move on to Tribes of Palos Verdes (lent by Feera) and Stephen King's Eye of the Dragon (lent by Syat). Well I was planning on reading Catch-22 first, but then you know how persuasive girls can be. (rolls eyes) And to think I was so resolved to not let anyone alter my reading list anymore. Considering that I've still got a LOT to go... and that's not counting the books Khairul dumped on me at the bottom of the list: American Gods, True Believer and, oh, I almost forgot, the Old Kingdom Trilogy.

(whistles)

Oh well.

So anyway, I've also been working on writing again. Well, no short stories yet. That previous plan was a bust I guess. I just lost interest. So I updated 'What Lies Beyond' and 'Sympathy for My Demons', after much problems with the bloody new FF.net's interface. (grumble grumble) There's much debate going on today about the quality of fanfiction (cringes). As Hizami aptly puts it, Harry banging Draco is nothing- there are ones of Harry banging the Giant Squid. (Lovecraftian vibe?)

Gggh. I don't want to walk down that area again.

Been researching more on the Silent Hill comics, and am totally resolved to get my hands on them a.s.a.p. Maybe I can convert more people here into Silent Hill fans with it... hmmm... But it honestly does seem interesting. Regardless of using no characters at all from the game, it has a touch of originality to it, whilst still retaining the horror that is Silent Hill. At least that's what I've heard so far.

Avinder's having her Cambrigde interview tomorrow. Good luck! I wish you all the luck in the world. Well, maybe sparing some for Nicholas, who's having his on the same day, and then another chunk for Pai, who's doing hers on Saturdays. Great people, all of them. I look up to them a lot, honestly, and it's a comfortable feeling. Having footsteps you can follow- people you respect enough to want them to succeed, not so you can tell yourself that you'll succeed too, but because you genuinely believe that they deserve it. This coming from a person who doesn't trust much people... Blagh. I'm blabbering.

I've taken a lot of time to do thinking lately. Who I am. What I want to be. Call it motivational bullshit, but I think I'm getting there somehow. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I want to know who I am before college is over. I want to be able to be happy with who I am and I won't be able to do that until I know who I am. What I believe in, and what purpose I serve in this world. But it feels kinda hard, because I feel like I've been wearing masks forever, and I'm going to have to take them off one by one, burying deeper.

I just hope what I find is something I can accept. Something everyone else can accept.

Garh, I'm being emotional tonight. Blame it on FMA + Stepmom + Dragonheart + dilemmas over some friends issues that in the end I find petty. I think I should sleep everything off before it gets worse.

'Ta.